Life's musings
by AliceGirl6
Summary: Reflection on life is necessary, especially with the life the Halliwells and friends live.
1. Paige and Wyatt

_I do not own Charmed nor do I make money from my writings. I just like to borrow the characters!_

_Life's musings_

_Paige_

It had been just a few days since Paige's life was thrown upside down. And she still wasn't quite sure what to think, what to believe and how to behave.

She had sisters! Two of them, well three really but sadly she would never meet Prue. The fact that she had a living family out there, her real blood family was quite a shock for Paige. Though she had known for a long time that she had been adopted, she had never really thought about finding out if she had any living family members out there. She hadn't really thought that there would be a family, though why she had no idea. When she was young she believed her whole family must have been dead, why would she otherwise be put up for adoption? In later years she realized that was a bit of a naïve thought. People could have a lot of reasons for putting their child up for adoption. She had chosen for the reason that her family did it for her, so she could have a better life. She didn't like to think she was a mistake better to forget.

It turned out she had been put up for adoption because it wasn't save for her to stay with her real family. She thought that was quite a good reason, and she was even thankful that she had been put up for adoption, as she had gotten the best parents a child could ask for.

But now she had found her real family, as it turned out she had one. She had two living older sisters. Paige didn't really know what to do with this fact, she had always been an only child, and how was she supposed to act around sisters? And did she really want to be a family with them, or did they even want her? Phoebe had said they did, but Paige suspected it was a bit different, especially for Piper. Paige could relate a bit, they had met at Prue's funeral after all. The sisters were in an emotional roller coaster, and then they had to put their lives at risk in order to save her. Even worse they had to save her from the being that had been the reason for Prue's death.

That thought leads her to a whole other thinking pattern. Because oh my god how was she supposed to deal with the fact the magic existed, that he was magical and that she now had demons after her. She still doesn't even know the finer details of this all. But she did know that it was quite shocking, and that she had no idea what to do with that piece of information. She didn't even want to be magical! Couldn't she give it back or something? Phoebe had explained that because she was a Halliwell, and because she was their sister, she was now part of something called the power of three. It meant that she was a witch, and together with her two sisters she formed the most powerful force of good of this time. This landed her at the white lighter and elder part. Other forces of good, which were there to guide them in their quest for a better world or something. And while the idea of a white lighter was okay to Paige, she didn't really like the sound of the elders. They were up there all the time, forcing rules and making their lives more difficult, and really with that information how was she supposed to like those elders, huh? Uhh thinking was beginning to irritate her. She was just thinking in circles, never ending ones. And even after days she was no closer to an answer for her , Paige had quite a headache, had it for the last couple of days really. Her mind couldn't stop forming thoughts, going too fast sometimes for her to even understand. She hadn't slept properly either, and she liked sleeping!

"AAAAAHHH" Paige yelled out, trying to get rid of some of the tension. Trying to rid herself of the frustration. Obviously, something so simple didn't really help, it just made her headache bonk even harder in her head. All this thinking and she was still at the same problem. How was she supposed to deal with this? And how was she supposed to be a sister to Phoebe and Piper, she doesn't even have the faintest clue what being a sister is like. She doesn't even like the idea of having sisters really, she is an independent woman, who thinks and says what she wants. She just didn't know how to be that, when she also had to be the perfect sister to them. And with Prue in the background, the one they would always compare her too, she didn't even think she stood a chance.

Looking at the clock she realized it was time to go to work. Paige smiled, maybe going to work and hearing other people's problems would help her out. And she would think on all this later, because she wasn't closer to finding any answers anyways. And so Paige pushed all thoughts about magic and sisters, and their expectations out of her head. She had her own life to live right now.

_Wyatt. _

It was a quiet Sunday morning, warm rays of sun streaming through the kitchen window. Birds awake and singing and the sound of somebody mowing the lawn some houses down the road could be heard from outside. The only sound to break the silence in the manor was coming from the kitchen, where Chris was lazily making breakfast. Wyatt was standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorpost. He was silently studying his little brother. God, how he loved him, he couldn't imagine a life without him.

When Wyatt was younger he never really wanted a brother, he had actually been quite angry when his parents had told him. Sure he was young, and how much had he really understood? But he knew, deep down, that he had understood perfectly, even though he was so young.

He had realized what a sibling meant, he knew his parents would have to split their time, their love. He would have to share everything, and he had to be nice to some stupid kid that he probably wouldn't even like. So, okay he was a bit naïve back then, his parents didn't split their love, it just grew bigger. And yeah so what if he actually had like Chris later on in life. Back then his little brother was a hated idea. Even when Chris was born Wyatt wasn't happy. Man he had been quite awful to the little tyke back then, jealous fits where he would orb Chris half way round the earth. He would break all Chris' toys, and throw stuff at his head.

It had taken quite some time for Wyatt to even get used to the idea of having another person in the house, another person who would always be there. But in the end Wyatt had accepted it. A good thing too, as he would realize in later years how awesome it actually was to have a little brother. He would realize that he never wanted a life without a brother!

What would Wyatt do without Chris? What would he do without the brains in the duo? He couldn't quite imagine how his life would be then. His brother was always there for him. They played together in their younger years, from playing in the sandbox, to building castles with his blocks, from playing basketball to swimming in the sea. Chris was the brains of the outfit, it was quite known to everybody. Chris somehow always had the answers to his problems. He was awesome with making potions and he was a genius with making up spells. What would he do without Chris as his back up with demon vanquishes.

Chris always had a smart comment ready, or an excuse when they did something wrong, like breaking his mother's vase, or forgetting to make his homework. Chris' smart mouth had saved them on quite some occasions throughout their lives, and it also helped that he had the sad puppy look down to an art. He was quite the manipulator really, but Wyatt didn't really care, as he got the good end of the stick. He had stopped counting the times when Chris saved his ass really.

He knew people thought it was strange how close of a bond the two brothers shared. But Wyatt never wanted it to be different. He knew it was because of their magic that they even had their bond, it had made them more aware of each other. And later in life it had even given them a telepathic kind of bond, where they could call out for each other in need. Which was a god sent for Wyatt really as he was always worried about his little brother, because while his brother might be smart, he was sadly lacking in the power department, something that was a bit of a sore spot still.

They were Halliwell witches and therefore they were hunted down by demons on a weekly basis, it scared Wyatt, to know how much danger his brother was in really. So he subconsciously checked their bond every few minutes, just to make sure Chris was still okay. He knew his brother was irritated by that fact, but really it was his job! He was the big brother, the twice bless and all, it was his job to take care of Chris, to make sure he was never hurt and to make sure he had everything in life he needed. Sadly he wasn't all that good at his self imposed job as his brother had been hurt countless times.

Wyatt tried to stop thinking about that, but images of a hurt Chris still made it to his mind. By fat he worst was the time when Chris was 15. He had been home alone, which was stupid really because they knew how dangerous that could be. Especially at that time, the demon activity had been crazy high those few weeks. But still he had been home alone and there was an attack. Chris didn't even stand a change as it was a well organized attack, with lot of fire power behind it. Wyatt had orbed home immediately when he had heard Chris' scared and pained yells in his mind. His worry had been at an all time high. The image of a deathly pale Chris, with blood around him everywhere and bones standing at odd angles is one that he will never forget. It had haunted his nightmares for months after the attack.

Wyatt shook his head in an attempt to rid himself of the images. He pushed himself from the doorpost and finally entered the kitchen. "Hey bro, what are you making?" he said, knowing that just talking to Chris would make thing okay in his head again, he would be able to forget for a little while, knowing that his little brother was safe and sound. "Pancakes, you want too?" Chris answered, gesturing to the pile that was forming. Wyatt smiled as his mouth watered, he loved pancakes! "yeah! Of course I want pancakes. Hey is there coffee yet?" Chris shook his head sadly, to the amusement of Wyatt. His little brother was a bit of a coffee addict, something he had picked up from their aunt Paige. "I'll make you some" Wyatt said, and as the aroma of freshly baked pancakes and fresh coffee filled the air they could here sounds form upstairs. It wouldn't take long before the whole family would arrive, as was the Sunday tradition.

**Please let me know what you think, should I go on?**


	2. Leo and Darryl

_Life's musings_

_Leo_

It was a cold winter day in the month of December, the month that for Leo always would and always will stand for family. There were a couple of birthdays in the family that month, and of course there was Christmas and New Year. The Halliwell family always was a close family, but in the December month it was more about being together, and sharing their love. Normally they would meet up to talk about the days troubles, for demon problems and other magic related stuff. They would help each other in taking care of the family. But in the month December the normal everyday troubles fell away, the demon problems were pushed away, and if there was no other way, they would do a quick vanquish. Yes, to Leo the month December was the best month out of the year.

And so it was on a day in December that Leo reminded himself of his life, and of his family. At the age of sixty-three, Leo had seen quite some things. He had lived longer that 63 years of course, being an immortal white lighter would do that to you. But Leo was a mortal man again, and so he would age again. And with age came a bit of sentimentality. Sure Leo remembered his youth, and his parents, though the images were getting vaguer as the years went by. Leo also remembered his time in the army, and the war he had fought in, those weren't the best of images to get into your mind, and most of the time Leo could push them away. He had spent a long time on thinking about his past and especially about his actions during the war. For Leo it had been a closed chapter of his life, he would think about it sometimes of course, but it didn't plague him anymore like it had used to. And just like all the other times Leo pushed the memories of the war back into the dark holes of his mind.

December was all about family, and Leo loved to remember the good times he had with his family. His beautiful wife Piper, his two great sons Wyatt and Chris were always in his fondest of memories. Little things, like the image of Piper's smile, the twinkle in Chris' eyes when he is happy, or the dimples Wyatt had when he smiled could always make Leo happier, they could always make Leo smile.

Leo had often worried about his family, and he worried a lot too, about his role in the family. It was Leo's greatest fear to find that he wasn't there for his family. That he had let them down. It had always been a fear of Leo, to think that he wasn't a good father or husband, but after the visit of his future son Chris, the fear skyrocketed. He still remembers the look in Chris' eyes every time he looked at you. That look of hate and bitterness and anger. You still here the words in your head, they still haunt your dreams sometimes. _You were never there for me. You were there for mom and Wyatt, and for half the world but you were never there for me. _

And wasn't that just a knife to your heart, to hear exactly how much of a screw up you are. And he had promised then, to himself and to Chris, that he would be better. That he would be there for Chris this time around. And he had kept his promise, he had made sure of that. Never had he missed a birthday, or a soccer game, or a school play. He never missed parent teacher nights, and went on day trips with his sons every month. He was there for his kids, both of them, this time around and he knew it. But still the fear remained, and the words haunted him.

It wasn't the only thing that haunted him from the time Chris had come to the past. He still remembered the awful words he had spoken, and he could still feel his hand beating his own son. Oh and the worst thing ever was the image of a dying Chris. That he would never forget.

Leo once again pushed images and thoughts away into the recess of his mind. He had gotten good at that, to push away the things he didn't want to know or remember.

But still, the horrible feeling of that fear, and the pain of losing a son remained, and so Leo pushed forward good memories. Memories of birthday parties, and of Christmases spent with the whole family. He thought about the game night they had held weekly with the boys when they were still younger. He thought about the look on Chris' face every time Leo told him he loved him and was proud of him. That look of love, and awe that a child could only have for a parent.

Sure Chris was still a momma's boy, even in this timeline where he had both his parents. That was just Chris, because he loved baking and cooking, and he loved spending time with his mother, and play pretend in her club and later in her restaurant. Piper and Chris just got each other in a way only mother and child can. And Wyatt always made fun of Chris, but Chris never minded, because he loved his mother, and who cares if Wyatt thinks he is a baby. And when it did get to Chris, he would seek out his father, and Leo would tell him how he shouldn't listen to Wyatt because he's a daddy's boy and so that would make him a baby too. And they would eat ice cream, chocolate because that was Chris' favorite, and it would all be better.

And Leo wasn't even lying when he said Wyatt was a daddy's boy. He could still remember the time when Wyatt did everything his father did, he sat the same, talked the same, tried to walk the same. He wanted to wear the same clothes as his father, and do the same job. And while that obviously changed as Wyatt got older, he would still love to just spend time with his father. They would play basketball or soccer in the park. Or Leo would tell him stories about his time as a white lighter.

Leo smiled, the dark times were pushed away for now, with the happy memories in the fore front of his mind. Yes he had kept his promise, he was there this time around, and he loved it.

Leo stood, and stretched for a bit. He was getting older after all! It was time to set the table, soon the family would start arriving and they would all have a nice family dinner. And with a parting look at the family photo that hang at the wall Leo walked to the kitchen in order to find his wife and get his orders.

_Darryl _

How to deal with the fact that your partner, no your now ex dead partner was in a relationship with a witch. Yeah, that's right A WITCH! No really, that wasn't even the biggest thing Darryl had to deal with, no because things just got better and better.

First you find out that your partner is found dead, he is found dead in the Halliwell Manor. And you just know those girls have something to do with it, you don't know what, but you sure as hell know that they were there and that they know more then they let on. But still this is Prue you're talking about, and Andy was in a relationship with her. Besides it couldn't be one of the girls that murdered him, they just weren't really the type to murder an innocent man, a man they love, in cold blood. But okay, so you know something fishy is going on. Not just because of you own instincts but because of something Trudau had said. And well, while you are curious you know it's better to only have a need to know basis.

Obviously that doesn't work so well, and you finally hear the truth. Magic exists, the Halliwell sisters are magical, they are witches! And they aren't the only magical beings in the world either, because of course that would make my life easy, and that just isn't going to happen. No fairies, and ogres, and leprechauns exist too. And that are lovely beings, they are on the good side. And yes that is right there is a good side, which inevitably means there is a bad side too. Yep that means demons exist.

And here comes the real catch. Andy, your now dead ex partner was killed by a demon trying to protect Prue, the love of his life.

And Darryl just knows this isn't going in to his head very well, and he just knows he will faint. So when a thud can be heard it isn't that much of a surprise that it is Darryl laying there on the ground. Bacause while he took it okay at first when Prue told him, he didn't take it so well when he had time to think about it. So yeah, maybe Sheila is allowed to scream in fright when she finds him, because Darryl finds the knowledge he had now quite frightening too, and he would like to scream too, but well he is Darryl and he can't do that, so he just lays on the ground in dead faint.

**Please review!**


	3. Chris

_Life's musings_

_Chris _

Sitting on his favorite spot on a warm summer night, with the lights of the stars, the moon, the city and the cars below him shining around him, Chris muses about life. Now normally Chris would be at home with his family, but not this night. Chris normally wasn't such a deep thinker, life happened, and all the thinking in the world wouldn't change that. Wasn't it his family who strongly believed everything happened for a reason? So it was best to just let thing flow the way they were supposed to. At least that was Chris' interpretation of it. He knew his mother thought way differently, but then again she likes to worry excessively about everything.

So no, if Chris could choose he wouldn't have chosen to spend this wonderful evening having philosophical thoughts about life and everything in it. But well it wasn't his choice now was it.

Chris had an essay due tomorrow for his English class. The topic was: 'what makes you Chris?' or well it was what makes you, you? But his version would be about himself of course.

At first Chris had liked the idea of that essay. It had actually sounded simple! It didn't even have to be long, one good sentence could be all you needed. At least that is what the teacher said. And so Chris had thought he would just write some simple stuff down. Well he had written some stuff down of course, the whole essay had been finished really. But it had started this strain of thought of him. What made him himself?

For his essay he had written that he was formed by his family, and so his family, their believes and morals made him who he was today. He was born as a tabula rasa, and his life experiences formed him, and they would continue to form him throughout his life.

Chris was pretty sure that the essay would get a good grade. But still he couldn't stop thinking about the topic.

Chris wasn't your normal everyday boy. He was a Halliwell, he had magic and fought with demons on weekly basis. He was pretty sure that his English teacher wouldn't think of such experiences when she thought about what had formed him. And even for a Halliwell Chris wasn't all that normal, he was part elder after all! And then there was that tiny thing where he had two sets of memories.

Yeah, that hadn't gone too well when he first gotten them! By now he was used to them, sure some still scared the living daylights out of him. Sure his dad and Wyatt could never be the first faces he saw in the morning for the fear of his reaction, but other than that, he was dealing quite nicely.

Slowly Chris' thoughts turned to his other life, the dark and sad one.

He never had an easy life there, right from the start with his birth it went wrong. He and his mother almost died on that day. He had a dead beat father, a mother who was too busy with work, being a witch and being a single mother to do everything the way she wanted to, a twice blessed brother who was always a bit too dark and countless cousins who annoyed the hell out of him. The first years of his life were okay, but it had started to go downhill quite quickly.

By the age of 14 Chris was practically an orphan, he had seen his mother die in his arms, and his father, yeah let's not mention him anymore.

By the age of sixteen he had almost no family left, and the hope for a better life was laid in his hands. He knew what it felt to have the weight of the world on your shoulders before he even reached the age of twenty. He had been the reason for death of his friends, he had seen family members breath their last breath, same as with friends. He had felt torture, physical and mental.

So when he went back in time, he knew life would be hard. He practically lived the sentence life's not fair, so deal with it. Suck it up was a good one too. He actually expected hardships in the past, he had expected the reactions. It barely hurt him even, he had seen and done too much to care that much anymore.

And so when he died at the tender age of twenty-three, he had seen and heard more than people of ninety. He was a shell of his former self, a shell of what he could have been. Had life given him a fair dealing.

Quickly Chris tried to stop that train of thought. An empty feeling of loneliness had set in, as it always did when he thought about that universe. He was pretty sure such memories, such visions would screw someone up. He had already set up a bank account for all the expensive therapy he would need later on in life. Even thought that world was a dark one, Chris would always miss some people that were in it. For one he knew the relationship with Bianca wouldn't be happening in this one. Bianca had died at an early age in this life. It had been quite a shock for Chris, who when he found out, had just experienced the proposal. He had mourned for her for weeks. Later on, he couldn't quite understand why it had taken him so long. He had never really known her, not the new version of her. He only had memories of a world where everything was twisted. His aunt Phoebe had understood, she had explained that people could mourn about the memories too.

Some friends he had in that world he would probably never meet in this one. It was something that made him sad on some of the worse days.

Thinking back on the original topic and his already written essay, he knew it wasn't that easy. Chris wasn't only formed by his family, for then each and every person in the Halliwell family should end up exactly the same. The morals never changed after all. Memories of the other world had formed Chris just as much as experiences from this world did. As Chris looks up at the stars he realizes he got the best of both worlds. He has the information, the skills and some way of thinking form the other world, while he has the loving family and the happy memories of this life. And so he can't really hate the things he has seen, for it has made him to be the boy he was now, and he wouldn't change that for the world.

Chris finally relaxed, he knew he shouldn't keep thinking about this stuff. Wasn't it his motto to let things flow and just see where it ends? Besides, he knew what all these depressing thoughts did to him, he knew it was bad for him. Chris scowled, it was a good thing he had closed the bond for a while, his brother would be extremely concerned when he found out what kind of thoughts went through Chris' mind. Not that Wyatt it really mattered what Chris did, his brother was worried every second of every day when it came to his little brother.

Chris smiled, he should think about this life, and all the happy memories I have here, he thought. And thinking of his family, Chris looked around him for one last time before orbing back home.

It was time to relax and really enjoy this summer evening. Hmm maybe I can annoy Wyatt enough that he will leave me alone for the next few hours. But that was just wistful thinking, he knew he would need to face his overprotective brother some time anyways, after all he hadn't really told anybody where he would be going when he left the manor. Whooops.

**Please review!**


	4. authors note

Life's musings

This story is currently completed.

As this is more of a compilation of one-shots that can stand on their own I might come back to it at a later time in life, but for now I leave it as finished.

Sorry if you expected more chapters, I just don't really have the time for it.

Alice


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